Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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