My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
