My friends, they love my intelligence
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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