North Korea, Best Korea!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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