we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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