Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
