i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
