i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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