Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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