that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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