We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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