I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
