she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
