i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
