Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So how was he last night?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Five-minute foot-long.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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(720): View more from Colorado

She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

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(817): View more from Texas

They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.

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(831): View more from California

she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.

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