Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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