dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
