It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
