she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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