where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
