I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
