we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
