we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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