ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
