dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
