what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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