He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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