I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
