why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
