Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
