the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
