I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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