so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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