the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
