I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
