I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
