His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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