very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
