I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
