is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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