shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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