loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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