Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
