You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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