Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
