I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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