He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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