I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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