sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
