Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
