Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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