You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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