As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
